Mod/Day
Much like my cape, this dress was an impulse purchase. Before I am convicted in your mind of being completely insane, let me at least describe the circumstances. I was shopping in a 50s/60s vintage store and was surrounded by poodle skirts and small dead animals sewn together as decorative scarves and so when I put this dress on it seemed positively normal – like I could wear it in my every day life and no one would bat an eyelash.
Then I brought it home and surrounded by items in modern times, this dress seemed quite ridiculous. This dress seemed to shout, Where are my Virginia Slims? Where is my glass of Tang? Where is the original owner of this dress who has long since died?
So, my question to you is – should I venture out in this outfit? And if so and I’m questioned about it, should I –
A.) Just act like people wear this kind of dress all the time. If I’m lucky and the person is at all insecure, they will scurry away, full of self-doubt.
B.) Lie and say I’m headed to a 60s costume party.
C.) Run as fast as my shiny, painful flats will take me. I need to remember to take my kids with me on this one because having to come back for them would not only be embarrassing, but I’d run the risk of being questioned again.
D.) Pretend I’m an “adult child” on a field trip outing with other members of my group home. I’ll store a yo-yo and a giant rainbow lollipop in my purse just in case.
Or you can say under no circumstances do you leave the perimeter of your property with this garment on. My big, purple dress and I anxiously await your response…
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